dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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