just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
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