He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
