maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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