Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
