This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
