Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize