she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
