My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I wish my penis had an off switch
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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