What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
