my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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