We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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