and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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