too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
