Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We had to coat check the pizza.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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