hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
