we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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