a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I checked into jail on foursquare
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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