I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
