he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
