nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize