I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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