Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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