Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
