how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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