I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
