proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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