This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
