I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
