i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I have post one night stand depression
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