"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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