i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
