I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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