Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
