? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I have aggressive nipples.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
