last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Drake has all the answers
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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