everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
