I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
