porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
