You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
