I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
