Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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