He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
