I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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