Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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