I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
