I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
