Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
