She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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