I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
