She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
zippers are such a cool invention
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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