Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
