oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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