Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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