At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
id be glad to
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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