and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
