She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize