What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
