just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
