I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
