There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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