Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
